Written on February 2nd 2019 – Before Watty got the sack

The saying “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face” seems fitting for my relationship with Felixstowe & Walton Football Club, although it’s not the most eloquent of sayings. My reasons for disliking them are flimsy at best. It all started years ago when they would bench Ninky McKinnon instead of giving him a starting spot, which didn’t sit well with me. I voiced my opinion to some of them, and it created a rift. Then the merger with Walton United happened, and I had another falling out with a leading member of F&W over darts. From then on, I distanced myself from the team and became more stubborn in my stance.

I observed the club’s progress from a distance, both on and off the field, even after my friend Watty became the head honcho. Despite invitations to join them, I always declined, though I did make the mistake of drunkenly criticising them on Facebook a few times. However, I did agree to attend a game this season, their first in the Isthmian League. Unfortunately, I missed the Olly Murs game and a scheduled game when I would meet with mates. But that fell through due to illness.

On Saturday February 2nd, I left my home and walked for 5 and a half minutes to reach Dellwood Avenue for 1pm. Before the game, I enjoyed a few beers at the clubhouse. When I arrived at the turnstiles, Mr Daynes seemed surprised to see me and welcomed me to the club. Inside, I was greeted by my old friends Geezer, Pinder, and Dunney, and we had a few more beers together. As time passed, more of my old mates and several Felixstowe legends arrived. When the game began, I filled my glass with Seasiders Cask Ale and joined Bolty outside just in time to see F&W score, making it 1-0. I felt like a good luck charm.

It wasn’t just 1-0, it was actually 2-0, but I missed the first goal. The scoreline as it remained the same until half time. I sipped on another pint of Seasiders and engaged in a Brexit discussion with Dave Lambert to pass the time. However, my attention was drawn back to the match as Heybridge was awarded a penalty. I confidently predicted that Crumpy would save it, forgetting that he was no longer the goalkeeper. Nevertheless, Jack Spurling made an impressive save. Soon after, the score became 3-0, which was enough for me to retire to the clubhouse, content with witnessing a win.

After indulging in another couple of pints of Seasiders ale (I’ve mentioned it a few times, so a free pint is surely in order?), I snapped some selfies with players, fans, and managers. By 6pm, it was time to head out and grab dinner from the nearby Chinese restaurant.


It was an outstanding day out, and all those associated with Felixstowe and Walton should feel an immense sense of pride. The remarkable accomplishments of those involved, both male and female, is truly impressive. The club and its committee deserve commendation for their hard work. As for myself, I am known for my humour, and while my fictitious quarrel with Felixstowe and Walton is a thing of the past, I will certainly be back.

Big shout out to the Ainsley brothers, whom I’ve known for many years, as well as Danny Bloomfield and Julian Dicks. Julian is an absolute legend – even after his team lost, he still took the time to sign autographs and take selfies with fans. The only disappointment of the day was that my friend Watty couldn’t make it. Oh well, there’s always next time!

By Verso

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