Golf

World Record Holder

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Believe it or not, I once held a world record. Well, almost. Despite a life that’s been more pub lunches and Paul Heaton gigs than trophies and titles, there was a moment—just one—where I achieved greatness. And no, it wasn’t for eating the most pies in three minutes or spearing baked beans with a cocktail … Read more

My Sporting Life

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I wasn’t born to be an athlete. Short, fat, blind as a bat—three things that don’t exactly scream “sporting prowess.” And yet, I’ve had my moments. Some tragic, some triumphant (ish), all of them very, very real. From football humiliation to a snooker miracle, here are the not-so-greatest hits of my sporting life. The Causton … Read more