Nine pence. That’s what Saturday cost.
A walk to the paper shop, breath in the air that smelt like chip fat and damp leaves, and there it was – Roy of the Rovers. Thirty-odd pages of glory, mud and moral certainty.
Cover – “Racey’s Rocket!”
Roy in full flight, red shirt flashing, a blur of hair and optimism. Racey’s Rocket! shouts the headline, while Peter Shilton – Sign Please! is advertised across the top. You didn’t just read it – you felt it. Even the paper hummed with purpose.
Football Family Robinson
Only the Robinsons could turn a League Cup tie into a rescue mission. Uncle Albert somehow sets off to sea in a lifeboat mid-match, the police helicopter’s out, and the crowd don’t know whether to cheer or call the coastguard. Giraffe Robinson flukes a goal, Albert’s hauled back to shore and told he’s done enough damage. Family drama with studs on.
Tipped for the Top
Steve Taylor – the lad with more talent than patience. Signs for Chelford City, scores, and immediately starts falling out with jealous teammate Eric. By the whistle Norpool have hit two and the dream’s wobbling. The message is pure seventies Britain – work hard, stay humble, or the world will happily kick you in the shins.
Roy of the Rovers
Racey’s week from hell. The government wants him to play for Basran to help an oil deal; he tells them where to stick it. Gifts arrive, papers howl, Duncan McKay nearly walks, then Roy scores against Burndean just to shut everyone up. The board start muttering about replacements. It’s the strip at its peak – football, politics and decency in perfect balance.
Tommy’s Troubles
Tommy’s still dragging football into a rugby school that doesn’t want it. His mates revise history; he’s too busy making it. One goal down before half-time, but nobody quits. The panels feel like PE on a cold Tuesday – mud, bruises and that one teacher who still believes.
The Hard Man
Johnny Dexter’s back, looking like he’s been carved out of touchline rage. Enter £500,000 show-pony Bob Baker – all flash and fancy feet. Training descends into farce, the manager forces the team to chant “We love Bob”, and by matchday everyone’s ready to explode. Dexter will, obviously. You can feel it coming like bad weather.
The Safest Hands in Soccer
Keeper Gordon Stewart misplaces his lucky charm and his bottle with it. Once it’s back, he’s unstoppable – until the ref gives a goal that smells of handball. Next week promises fury. Simple premise, great pacing, pure comic craft.
Simon’s Secret
Page one’s missing, which somehow suits it. We find Simon already dropped, sulking, and putting a boot through a fence. Teacher catches him – game over. Every lad knew that sick thump in the stomach. You didn’t need page one to feel it.
Mike’s Mini Men
Subbuteo dreams and scraped knees. Mike’s rival spies on tactics, there’s a bike crash, and suddenly he’s out injured but still managing from the sidelines. Football’s everywhere – full-size or six-inch plastic, the rules were the same: keep playing, no matter what.
Features & Extras
You came for Roy, but you stayed for the clutter.
Cresta Bear comp winners posing with a brick-sized cassette player. Great Goals! gives Fulham’s Tony Mahoney his moment. Sign Please! waves Peter Shilton’s autograph at us. Roy Race Talk-In teaches more about Man United than school ever did. Jokes for £2, a quiz you’d cheat on, and ads for crisps and Umbro kits that made you feel ten feet tall.
Final Whistle
It’s easy to mock now – the clean-cut heroes, the tidy morals – but these pages told you what mattered. Loyalty. Effort. Getting up when you’re kicked. Every week was a sermon in shin-pads, printed in four colours and pure intent.